The beauty of the beast
by Pancakesftw50
Summary: Ivan can't stand this world anymore. It's cruel, and full of hatred. No one can stop him from what he's about to do...except maybe...one unexpectedly kind stranger. Even with this person's help, will they be able to save Ivan from himself? ( Warning! rated T for attempted suicide. )
1. Chapter 1

This particular night was the most beautiful that Ivan had ever seen. The sky was peppered with stars, and there was hardly any black in the sky. Even so, the world around Ivan seemed so hideous. For him, the world was full of hatred. Hatred that was all somehow aimed at him.

Cruel jokes were made at his expense, people avoided him. He had always been labeled an outcast…even by his parents. His sisters got all of their love and they left Ivan to fend for himself. Yes indeed, the world was a cruel, heartless place.

A place that Ivan did not feel the need to exist in for any longer than he had to.

_Despite being a beautiful night, it is an exceptionally cold one._ Ivan thought as he walked through the empty park, hands snuggly burrowed in his pockets. He shivered and hugged his coat tighter to his body and continued on the cobblestone path.

Ivan had always loved this park. Even now, it never failed to provide him with a sense of peace. The oak and maple trees were his favorite things in the park. Ivan remembered how he used to climb up to the highest branch he could and forgot about life for a while.

_If only I could still do that…_Ivan shook his head and tried to focus on why he had come here in the first place. _How am I going to do this? I have my letter all written out, even though nobody will read it…_Ivan continued to walk, ignoring the cold as he wracked his brain for ideas. _I can think of so many ways, but none of them seem...right. _He sighed and stopped walking, watching the steam come out of his mouth.

_If only I could disappear as effortlessly as that steam, this would be so much easier._ He thought as he sat down on one of the many wooden benches that were scattered around the property. The cold of the bench attacked Ivan's legs through his jeans and sent a body wracking shiver throughout his entire frame. Ivan hugged his arms and rubbed them, if only to get them even slightly warmer.

_Maybe I could go the traditional route and hang myself…no, that won't do either._ Ivan sat there for at least fifteen minutes running through every almost every way that he could think of. While he had been so lost in thought, a man who was about Ivan's height with chin length strawberry blond hair had been walking down the path, when he stopped in front of Ivan.

"Sir, are you alright?" The stranger asked. Ivan snapped his head up to look at the (admittedly handsome) man. "Da…I am fine." Ivan directed his gaze back towards his feet , so he did not see the completely unconvinced look the stranger had given. The stranger placed his hands on his hips and an odd curl that stuck out in front of his face bounced in a… surprisingly sassy manner.

The stranger sighed and sat on the bench next to Ivan and introduced himself. "I'm Matthew. Matthew Williams. Nice to meet you." Matthew stuck out his hand. Ivan hesitated for a moment but introduced himself as well. "…Ivan Braginski. Likewise." He cautiously shook the other's hand.

Ivan noticed the man's eyes. They were a dark ocean blue, and they looked so kind and sincere. _So much different than my own unfriendly violet ones._ Ivan put himself down and focused on his feet again. Matthew seemed to notice the other's sadness and he boldly called him out. "You lied."

Matthew looked at Ivan with a sort of defiant gleam in his eyes. "I'm afraid I don't understand…" Ivan tried to throw the other off, but the look that Matthew gave silenced him quickly enough. "You are not fine. Something is obviously wrong." Matthew stood just as a strong gust of icy wind blew another shiver down Ivan's spine. "Walk with me. It's too cold to stay sitting for long." Matthew offered and gestured for Ivan to stand.

Ivan sat in confusion for a moment. Nobody had ever been so nice to him before…why now? Ivan reluctantly stood up and began walking beside the unusually kind man. "For real now, tell me what's wrong." Matthew kept his eyes focused on the path as he pried at the other's emotional defenses. Ivan certainly did not want to tell the man his life story, but he couldn't think of a lie fast enough. So he decided to just tell the partial truth.

"I just… I have always been a very lonely person. No one liked me, nor did they hate me. I've never had a real friend before and I suppose…I'm just lonely." Ivan tried to keep the majority of his problems to himself, but Matthew wasn't buying any of it. "Alright. So you were hated and ignored and you probably still are. I'm assuming that your parents preferred other sibling's over you as well."

Ivan stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the stranger that had just summarized his life. Matthew stopped walking after a few seconds and turned to face the surprised man. An eerie silence surrounded the two men. There was only the sound of the wind hitting the leaves and a few cars passing by in the street.

Matthew eventually broke the silence. "Am I correct?" He raised an eyebrow at Ivan and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Yes…you are right." Ivan lowered his head in shame. "Lucky guess I suppose." Matthew commented and walked back to where Ivan stood frozen in place. "I heard you talking about possible forms of suicide. You were thinking out loud." Even though Ivan couldn't see it, Matthew's eyes now held a trace amount of pity, but also…determination?

There was no point in hiding what was obvious from the prying stranger any longer. "Yes…I came here to plot my own death…" Ivan suddenly felt very fidgety and began shuffling his feet. "Look at me, Ivan." Matthew commanded in an unexpectedly stern voice.

Ivan looked up at the other just as Matthew had grabbed his shoulders and got close enough to where Ivan couldn't see anything else but those blue eyes. "You say that you've never had a real friend, so you don't know how beautiful life can be! I can show you just how much life is worth living. Just, hold off for a few more nights alright?" Matthew pleaded with the slightly taller man as he let go of his shoulders and pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of his jeans pocket.

Ivan stood in stunned silence as the other hurriedly wrote down his phone number. "Here, call me in the morning. Just make sure that you're still here by then, got it?" He gave the paper to Ivan and smiled. "The world is a beautiful place, as long as you don't focus on it's flaws." Matthew patted Ivan's shoulder. "Trust me." And with that, Matthew turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Ivan to his confusing thoughts. What just happened? Ivan's mind went blank for a moment, but something was there.

It wasn't a thought…It was a new feeling. Hope. Ivan turned and ran the entire two blocks home, smiling for the first time in a very, very long while.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Uneventful chapter is uneventful, but I just felt the need to end the chapter where I did. Sorry to the small amount of people who read this, I'll have the third chapter up just as soon as I can.

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When Ivan reached his home, he immediately went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He wiped off his face with a hand towel and sighed. "It…was real. That really just happened. He whispered and sat on the porcelain rim of his bathtub. Ivan held his face in his hands and tried to steady his breathing.

_Oh my god, it's really happening! I'm actually going to have a friend!_ He thought excitedly, but he quickly remembered the thought that has always been most prominent in his mind. _Nobody will ever truly be your friend, Ivan._ He sighed again and stood up. As he left the bathroom he glanced at the mirror. He frowned and walked quickly to his living room. Ivan turned the television on and tried to relax, but too many thoughts were racing through his mind.

He shook his head in a desperate attempt to clear his head, but of course, that didn't help in the slightest. So he just gave up, turned the T.V off and sat in silence.

_I wonder if he really will be my friend…I hope so…_Ivan smiled at the thought of actually having someone that liked him around. He had always imagined what amazing adventures he would have with that someone.

_Going to restaurants, playing video games, laughing_…"Being happy." Ivan whispered and smiled a bit wider. He went to sleep with the image of Matthew laughing with him stuck in his mind.

He had never gotten a better nights sleep in his life.

When Ivan woke up early the next morning, it took him a while to remember why he was still alive. 'Oh…Matthew." He recalled. Ivan quickly stood up and dug around in his pocket for the slip of paper that Matthew had given him. He pulled it out and immediately, a million questions raced through his brain at top speed.

"Should I call him now?" Ivan bit his lip and reached for his cell phone that was beside the couch. "Nyet, too early." He shook his head and turned around, taping his foot on the floor out of nervousness. "I should take a shower. Then I'll call him."

Ivan removed the coat that he had fallen asleep in and walked down the hallway to the bathroom, yawning a few times along the way. "Today…it's going to be good. I can tell." he told himself as he turned on the shower as hot as it could go.

He let the water run for a bit as he stripped off his tee shirt and his jeans. He reached behind the shower curtain to check the temperature. Ivan would've liked it to be hotter, but it would have to do. His boxers and socks were quickly removed, and he cautiously stepped into the shower and sighed comfortably, letting the water wash over him. It soothed his nerves somewhat.

For a while he just stood under the showerhead, hugging his arms and enjoying the heat, but even in his comfortable state, his thoughts quickly overcame his mind.

_He won't really want to help_. "No! He will help!" Ivan tried to erase the thoughts, but as always, his attempt was futile. Ivan didn't really get to washing anything. He just stood there until the water ran cold. After about a half hour, he finally turned off the water. He pulled back the curtain and stepped out of the tub, into the steam filled room.

He began to shiver as the steam cleared. He opened a cabinet under the sink and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. Ivan wiped a hand across his forehead in an attempt to get his light blond bangs out of his eyes. It didn't work very well, but at least he could see now.

After wrapping the towel around his waist, he wiped the mirror off with his hand. There were still tiny droplets of water on the glass, but he could still make out his reflection. Quite frankly, it disgusted him. Dark, soulless eyes, a messy mop of almost white hair. He looked like a ghost.

"But I don't even deserve to be a ghost, do I?" He asked his reflection. Ivan felt weak. So, incredibly weak. "I can't anymore…Nyet. It's not worth it…" Ivan dressed himself in the clothes that he wore the night before and left the bathroom, mentally and physically unaware of the temperature change. He strolled through the hallway and stopped in the living room only to pick up his phone. I should at least call him. He thought and nodded to himself. He dialed the number and within a few seconds, Matthew had answered. "Good morning." Matthew greeted. Ivan smirked to himself, but quickly resumed his straight face.

"I'm sorry."

_Click._


End file.
